Memories: Keepsakes, Journals and Memoirs

Memories are often one of the strongest elements of your life as a parent. Consider the many ways in which you remember your child's first years. Perhaps you remember the smell of their bath soap as you remember giving them their first bath.  Perhaps you remember the way it felt to touch your child for the first time. You may even remember the unique smile that came across your lips the first time your child smiled themselves. These are all fabulous ways to remember your child. However, how can you preserve them?

A Variety Of Ways

There are many ways to keep your memories alive and beautiful. In many ways, it is easier today to remember yesterday than ever before.  As you consider your options, contemplate using several ways to remember your child and your family. Putting together a collection of different methods to remembering can help you to really form a strong bond over time. Most people lose memories within a few years, unless they are particularly strong. Still, by the time your child is in college, chances are many smells, touches and unique looks will have faded.  Here are some ways to preserve them.

Journals: One of the best ways to remember your child's first years and every year after is to use a journal. If your child is a newborn or just starting life, then now is the perfect time to start a collection of your thoughts.  What is unique about a journal is that they are very easy to use and they allow you to collect thoughts not just pictures. Journals make a great tool to use along with other formats, too. You can add photos to your journal as well as small trinkets if you would like to.

Keepsake Boxes: As your child grows, there is no doubt you will have small items that mean a lot to you. In fact, just leaving the hospital you may have their identification bands, their cap, and even the outfit they wore home. These are all great items to keep in a keepsake box.  Easily placed in a corner of a closet, these boxes are very easy to use and offer a great tool for collecting items.

Picture Albums:  A simple form of collecting pictures is the picture album. You simply need to print off or purchase your pictures and put them into place.  It only takes a few minutes to jot a note on the back of the picture to get things started.

Scrapbooks: Another way to keep hold of your memories is a scrapbook. Many new moms and dads have good intentions of using a scrapbook but they may easily become overwhelmed. If you are worried they will be too much trouble, don't be.  They do not have to be updated often and you can often do them whenever you have time. They are not complex, but can easily be added to by pre-purchased items and sheets. The process can be easy.

Video: Filming the birth of your child, their journey home and everything until their college graduation is becoming a common family occurrence. With most video cameras not being digital, it is easy to doctor them, add additional information or footage and even to really clean them up for a professional finished product (all on the home computer.) Video works very well to capture memories since it is a moving documentation of the events.

Which way is the best way for you to keep memories of your child?  Choosing several methods may work best for you.  The key is to capture are many memories as you can and then to keep them safe. When you use several options, you are able to get more information than you could with just one.

For example, perhaps you have a video recording of your child's first birthday. You can see everything that is happening. Now, you want a few pictures, too to add to the scrapbook that you are creating and to send to friends. Add to that a few great notes in your journal about the day and the way you were feeling and you have a complete memory of the event that will last a lifetime. Go for it, your child will appreciate it in the years to come, and so will you.

Making The Transition To A First Grader

On the first day of first grade, your child will walk into a classroom that is completely different then kindergarten. As a new first grader they may be overwhelmed by the number of differences, that first grade means.  The room may no longer have play stations. There may be desks instead of tables. The children will be learning more, faster than they did in kindergarten.  They also will have to brace for doing more writing, reading and math homework on a daily basis.  First grade is the start of what school will be like for most of their remaining years.  Be sure your child is ready for it.

Talking With Your Child

Prior to the start of first grade, be sure to tell your first grader about the differences they are likely to face during their next year at school.  For one, let them know they may have different friends in their class this year (especially if your school normally mixes two or more classrooms of grade levels together each year.)  Be sure to let them know they will also have a new teacher this year.  As a first grader, at about the age of six, the new environment may still overwhelm them especially if they are not prepared for it.

Talk to your child about what it means to be a first grader including the things they will learn.  In first grade, most children learn letter sounds and how to put them together to read.  They learn basic math skills.  They learn about science, health, art, and phonics.  They will likely spend a good amount of time reading and writing.  They still will need to hold onto the skills they learned in kindergarten including social skills.

During The Summer Before

A good way to prepare your kindergartener for first grade is to work with them on their skills throughout the summer months. Be sure they are practicing all of the skills they learned in kindergarten now.  This will include things like letter and number names, how to write their name, and how to count to 20. In some schools, children will know how to put letters together to form basic words.  They may also have sight words they need to remember.  Practice these skills throughout the summer months so that on the first day of kindergarten they are not behind on their education.

You also may want to take the summer to work on improving any problems they are having.  Summer activities and tutoring programs can help them to strengthen skills. This may include academic skills, social skills or even emotional skills.  Any areas in which your child is struggling can have work during the time leading up to first grade.  They will feel more confident and encouraged by it.

Be sure to spend at least some time exploring the world around you in the summer, too.  Trips to the library to get books for you two to read together are always a good way to reinforce learned skills and perhaps to teach new ones.  You can also find skill practice books through most schools that will also offer help not only with reading and writing but also on science, health and social studies topics.

Get Them Used To Learning

During the first grade, your child will do a lot more work. There is less free time to play with friends or to do fun projects and more time focused on learning concepts important to their future educational goals.  At this time, it is also important for you to convey this to them.  Get them ready to learn.  Have them sit down each afternoon in kindergarten and the summer to talk work on a coloring sheet or to do some reading.  This prepares them for the homework they will do as a first grader.

Structuring your child's playtime and learning skills around what first grade will be like is an important step to insuring your child will do well in the coming year. It does not have to mean a lot of nose to the book, but rather the start of a routine and acceptance that learning is good and even fun to do.  They will adjust well once they are able to grasp this concept.

Making Time for Yourself

Every parent wants to do well by their children but it’s important to remember the importance of making time for yourself. We live in a fast-paced, busy world but even the hardest working parent needs to take some time for themselves. It’s important for parents to spend time together as a couple, separate from the children and it’s equally important for each individual to have some time alone for themselves.

There are many different ways you can squeeze in a little time for yourself in your normal daily routines as well. For example, do you carpool or wait for your children while they are in sports and other activities? You can spend this time in between traveling to sit in the car, listen to your favorite music, read a book or otherwise experience time alone. This can be a great rejuvenation from the busy activities of the day.

If you want to stay a sane and happy parent, you deserve a break. You deserve some time with yourself where you don’t have to worry about the children or be distracted by events of the household. Here is some more information about the importance of making time for yourself each day.

Why You Need Time for Yourself

Why is it so important to take time for yourself? Many parents feel like they are being selfish when they take time for themselves but sometimes being a little selfish is a good thing. Every human on earth needs a little time for themselves and parents are no exception.

Taking this time for yourself will keep you sane, keep you focused and keep you motivated for the tasks you must perform each day. Being a parent is hard work so don’t forget to give yourself a much-needed and earned break now and again.

Here are some reasons you need time for yourself:

·         It relieves stress

·         It allows you to relax

·         You can build creativity

·         You develop hobbies

·         You get to know yourself better

·         It will improve your mood and well-being

·         It can improve your health

Have you ever experienced a great afternoon all to yourself just doing something you want to do? If so, then you know that great feeling you have afterwards when you feel rejuvenated and ready to take on many tasks and activities with ease. You can have this feeling on a regular basis when you remember to make time for yourself.

How to Take Time for Yourself

When you make time for yourself, it allows you to grow as a person and as a parent. It also gives you time to relax, de-stress and be ready for the new day ahead. You will have more patience with your children and other people in your life and more energy to do the tasks at hand. Some things, however, are easier said than done and the hard working parent may get to a point where they don’t even know how to take time for themselves anymore.

Here are some ways to make time for yourself:

·         Designate a certain block of time in your daily schedule for doing something you want to do

·         Record your favorite show or program to watch when the kids go to bed

·         Plan a monthly “spa day” where you can get out of the house and treat yourself to a pampering

·         Make a weekly “date night” with your spouse

·         Go for a walk in the evenings (or in the mornings if you prefer)

·         Take a bike ride, roller blade or some other physical activity

·         Take up a hobby and devote a few hours a week to participating in your hobby

·         Get up a bit earlier and take some time before the kids get up or the rest of your day begins

·         If you’re not an early riser, stay up a bit later at night and devote some time to yourself

These are just a few ideas. One of the first steps to making time for yourself is to sit down and make your own list of ways that you can take a little important quality time for yourself. It may be tempting to continue to push and plow through the many tasks you have each day but don’t forget the importance of making time for yourself. 

Kids Parties For Older Children

Kids parties will change, as your child gets older, but they still can be a lot of fun to plan and host.  As a parent, you will need to work with your child to create a birthday party that is right for them.  A ten year old may be well beyond having a clown, balloons and a party with their grandparents and friends.  Instead, they may enjoy a pool party, a camping trip or even just a sleep over with friends.  When planning the birthday party for an older child, keep in mind that you want them to be happy on this day.  It may be hard for you to let go, but they will appreciate it when you follow through with their requests.

Tweens: Planning Ideas For Children Ten To Thirteen

Tweens are one of the most difficult ages to plan a party for.  At this age, they are getting to know themselves and impressing friends is all they can think.  This is the age where many kids will also feel pressured into doing things that one up the last child's party.  As a parent, you may need to step in and lay out the boundaries.  Talk about what is acceptable and what may not be.  If they do not have an idea as to what they want to do for a party, here are some ideas:

·         Arcade and Pizza:  Kids that love arcade games and pizza will love to have a party at a local facility.  Go karts can add to the fun, too.  You will find that many local facilities will put on the birthday celebration for you, providing you with everything you need for a set fee. These parties can get expensive, depending on if you pay for everyone's tickets.

·         Pool Parties:  Something is alluring about the pool and middle school aged children love to invite their friends over for a party like this.  It takes only a few minutes to set up and with a few well-planned treats, you can have a fantastic party with virtually no overhead cost (expect for food.)

·         Boys and girls both enjoy this activity and continue to become more interested in it all the time.  Most laser tag locations now offer a variety of party packages for parents to choose from.  These work well for those that want something unique to do.

Planning birthday parties for kids of this age may take some advanced planning on the part of you and your child.  They often want to play a role in the birthday or party planning anyway. Kids parties at this age are often filled with noise, music and lots of laughing.  Don't expect them to welcome older family members to their event either.  You may want to consider a celebrate birthday celebration for family members.

Tips For Planning Older Kids Parties

When it comes to kids parties, you can go wrong!  You do not want to be the party that messed up their child's party!  Here are some tips to help you avoid making common mistakes.

·         Choose a party theme that that they enjoy, not what you are looking for.  Give them the chance to plan their own event, even.  With your guidance, it could be a learning experience for them, too.

·         Invest in appropriate decorations.  Streamers, balloons and many banners may not be what they are hoping.  Instead, find out what they think will be interesting and use that.

·         Set a budget for the bash.  It is easy to get carried away with your child when planning parties for them.  With a budget in place, you and your child can stay within the guidelines and learn something about the process as well.

Stay on top of the trends and party events happening near you.  New places to have parties and interesting themes are constantly available.  Remember, by the time your child is a teenager, chances are good that they will be less than interested in having a party with mom and dad.  Take advantage of this time closely and invest some time making this a bonding experience between you and your child.  In the long term, it will pay off!  

Kids Clothes: Making Smart Choices For Younger Kids

Kids clothes are available in a variety of styles and looks, but what is right for your child?  As you consider some of today's fashion trends, you may be a bit skeptical about allowing your child to wear them.  With suggestive wording, short skirts and pants that expose their boxers, you may be leery about what is okay and what is not for your child.  Before you start shopping for kids clothes this year, take into consideration a few details.

Battling Fashion Trends Over Your Beliefs

Even young children, as young as first and second grade, will want to wear what their friends are wearing to school.  It does not take long for the problem to grow into a situation where you feel likely you are battling with your child about what they can and cannot wear.  It does not have to be a battle of wills. Rather, make sure it is a battle of smart decisions.  Here are a few points to make with your child when they want to wear clothing you do not find appropriate for them.

·         Talk to them about their bodies.  Be sure they know why you do not want them to wear clothing that exposes them.  Be sure they understand how to keep private and respected for it.  Many kids may not realize that kids clothes can be a problem for them.

·         Talk to your child about setting their own trends. The fact that they wish to follow what their friends are wearing is something to discuss.  Let them know it is okay to wear different things and that this does not define who they are.

·         Let them know why you do not want them to wear the clothing. Just saying no may not be enough. Instead, explain your reasoning and they are likely to understand where you are coming from at least they will after some time.

Most importantly, keep the lines of communication open with your child.  Communicate with them the importance of building a solid relationship that is built on trusting each other.  When they trust you, they will realize that you are making a good decision for them even if they do not understand why.

Compromising With Kids Clothes

In some situations, it may be okay to compromise with your son or daughter on the clothing they would like to wear.  You may allow them to choose several pieces for their wardrobe with the understanding that you will choose the rest.  With the child not misrepresented in any way with the clothing, you may find this is a good way to help satisfy them.

Many times, clothing is an expression of their creativity and a way for them to express their tastes.  Allowing children to play at least a small role in the selection of clothing is a good way for them to feel included.  Lay down the ground rules, though.  Not just anything will go and they should know where the limits are.

Setting The Example

As a parent, you need to you to practice what you preach.  If you do not like the clothing your child wants to wear because you feel it is too revealing or inappropriate, do not wear this clothing yourself.  One thing is certain: you are your child's biggest influence.  If you wear respectable, clean and appropriate clothing, they are likely to do the same thing. 

It also goes without saying that both parents should be on the same page about what is okay and what is not when it comes to children's clothing.  It can take some time for this equal footing to happen and for both parents to come to an agreement, but the work it takes will allow your child to see that their parents are working together which means they should too.

Kids clothing may not seem like a big deal when you have toddlers but over the next few years, things will change drastically.  Your child is likely to push you into buying them the types of clothing you are not happy.  Be sure to tackle problems before they become so far out of your control that it is impossible to make it a learning experience.

Home Organization: What To Do When The Kids Are Away At School

Your home organization plan has suddenly changed.  Now, with your student in college, you have a new opportunity to have space for the things you want to do.  If your child had their own room, you may be able to repurpose this room for something you would like to use it for.  Of course, this depends on how much the child will be home for school and what their goals will be in terms of coming home for summer breaks. For many, a few good home organization tips can help you to free up the space to use as a reading room, an office or just about any other need you may have.

What To Store

One thing becomes apparent as the student goes to school: they had a lot of items. Over their lives they have likely collected a wide range of things that may have little to no meaning to you but for some reason they have hung onto them. What should you do with these items?  Prior to digging through your child's bedroom, do take the time to talk to them about your plans.  Let them know you are planning to put some of their items away so that you can use the room for something else. They may be offended at first, but reassuring the student that they are always welcome home will help.

Once you get their help to go through items, set up three bins.  One is for give away items, which could be anything they no longer need and want.  The second bin should be for things that they plan to keep and use later. The final bin should be for rubbish and anything that they may no longer have any use for but is not good enough to give away. Slowly work through the room together.  Set aside a good amount of time for the task.  Even the neatest of teens is likely to have a wide range of things stored throughout their room that will need to be gone through.

It is also likely that your new home organization plan is going to dredge up memories.  You may find yourself crying over a teddy bear or sobbing over a picture they drew in kindergarten that you had forgotten about.  These are things to keep, but it may take some extra time to go through them. 

Use totes with lids that lock into place to protect all of the items that you should keep.  Place in a storage area of your home or even into their closet.  Storing and labeling all of these items will allow your child to come home and find just what they want.  You can often pack away clothing and other personal items like this for the long term.  You are not giving it away, just putting it away.

For larger items like dressers and the bed, you may need to keep these in place especially if your student will be coming back home on weekends or during the summer breaks.  Home organization here is difficult in these situations since you may want to allow enough room for them to be comfortable when they are back.  Some families convert these extra rooms into rooms for guests so that anyone that plans to stay over can do so easily. 

For large moves and home organization that will completely transform their bedroom, you may want to consider outside storage.  Storage facilities are available in most towns and are generally inexpensive to keep. Be sure that all items are stored off the floor in these locations and that the security is enough to protect your child's items. This will help you to feel good about these items and will protect your family's memories.

As you consider all of your options for home organization, be sure to keep your college student in mind.  Let their room stay as similar to their room as possible, if this is what will help you to hold on to them while they are away at school.  On the other hand, if you need the room for something else, there is no reason not to put their items away and use it as you see fit to do so.

High Schooler On The Way: Preparing Your Child For High School

Middle school was lots of fun but now it is time to become a high schooler.  Is your student ready for the challenges that come with being a part of high school?  It could be more overwhelming for you then it is for them.  As with most situations, the goal is to determine the best way to prepare your child for the next step in their education. Just as they moved from elementary school into middle school, moving from middle school to high school will often provide them with a number of unique challenges.

What's Different

When it different in high school?  During middle school, children are going through an awkward stage.  They feel weird as they work through hormonal changes.  They likely went through more than one embarrassing moment.  High school may be more of the same but what you may also notice is that your teens have gotten to be more stable and levelheaded.  While many tweens will struggle with change, many high schoolers are adjusting well to their social surroundings and may even be working towards their goals of a solid, well-developed adult.

So, what should you expect from them, here are some things you may see:

·         More independent; most high schoolers will not ask for your help nearly as often.  To prepare your teen for this, make sure they know you are there when you need them but that you respect their ability to make decisions.

·         More risky and willing to take a challenge; teens are often pressuring each other to do things, and for this you need to be prepared.  Before high school starts, remind your child about being safe and peer pressure, reassure them that you are counting on them to make good decisions

·         They will be more distant; as they come into their own, they will be highly less likely to want you to pick them up from school or to help them with homework.  Be positive about this, seeing it as a time for development.

There will be many changes as a high schooler, but the average high schooler is able to adjust more readily than they used to.

Setting Goals, Answering Needs

Preparing your high schooler may not require a lot of work on your part, just some good talks about expectations and rules.  Yet, in the coming years they will be going through many things that you need to be there for, in case they do need you.  For most parents, this means helping your child to set goals for school and beyond and to be paying attention to them so that you can help them make good decisions and catch them when they don't.

For example, colleges begin to look at your child's transcripts starting as early as 9^th grade.  This means that they need to start thinking about their futures now.  What do they want to do and where do they want to be?  You do not need hard answers here, but they need to realize that scholarships and school choices will become dependent on their ability to do well during the next few years.  Not only do grades count but also extra activities they become involved with.  As a high schooler, they need to think of these things more often.

In addition to setting goals for your high schooler, you also need to be able to notice them.  They may be coming and going faster than you can stop them, but do notice signs of change in them.  If you feel that your high schooler is not well, talk to them about it.  Learn what the signs of drug, alcohol and cigarette use are and react when you are worried that your teen may be exposed.  By playing an active role in your child's health and well-being, you safeguard them from potential problems.

Preparing your child for high school is a challenge. You will need to start seeing them as a young adult rather than your baby.  You may have to give them more freedom and your demands of them may continue to grow.  Yet, the goal of high school is to prepare your child for the real world, a world where you will not be there to hold their hand.